I leave this yama last to talk about in Yoga TT. It has such a bad rap. The fourth of the Yamas, Brahmacharya is often translated as ‘celibacy’ or ‘chastity’. But this yama actually asks us to think about how we use all our energy every day, not just that associated with sex….

It took a large conk on the head for me to gain some insight into this yama.  Easily one of the least understood, ‘Brahmacharya’ encourages those involved in the practice of yoga to channel their sexual energy to further progress along the Yogic path. Many moons ago, when yoga was only practiced by male sadhus, sex was not easy to come by (they were not supposed to have any) and they had to have some way of managing this energy and refocusing it to something a little more productive.

But we are not urban monks, we live with with families, lovers, friends. Sex for most of us is at the front of our minds (although often not in many lives based on the number of dead bedroom relationship stories nowadays), and the modern world seems obsessed by it. As an energy worker, I reckon the translation of this yama got lost along the way.

I reckon brahmacharya is due for its round of popularity in today’s world.  Too many of us are too busy, too tired, too depressed, and too stressed.  And where this sexy little yama might work it’s magic is in the way we approach our time management.

How busy are you right now? Most of us would answer too much – nowadays, there seems to be kudos in how ‘busy’ we should all be – the busier the better. If we are not being super busy, we must be lazy.  And of course, there’s all those goals we are wish to achieve. There is no inbetween, it seems.

Filling our schedule may seem impressive on the outside (we may even get loads of reinforcement from loved ones – oh you are always so good at getting things done), but it is how we feel when we do this ‘stuff’ that matters. Do we feel energised, or constantly exhausted?  Reaching for that cup of coffee, that piece of chocolate?

I used to run learning programs to help senior executives become better at ‘time management’. You know those, 1/2 day numbers part of a management training program. Everyone would roll their eyes, and drag their asses to it, wishing they were back at their desk and their to do list.  In the day, it was all about how many appointments you could fit into your diary, how many billable hours you could justify.

In the 21st century, Brahmacharya is more about encouraging the ‘right’ use of energy, focused on the ‘right’ things. I use that word ‘right’ as it is used in Buddhism – that there are some vital universal rules which if applied regularly in everyday life, you are much more likely to be at peace and happy.

Where is your energy directed right now?

Instead I would get them to look at how they were managing their energy.  We would start with making a list of those things that are taking up time and space. they might be tasks or issues in the head that just won’t go away.  Long list, right?

I would get them to think about those things that took up head space but not on the task list. Like, do you spend a lot of time trying to present yourself ‘in your best light’ – to please or impress others, directing our physical energy towards endlessly pushing ourselves to be fitter, stronger or skinnier.  Or maybe a lot of your energy is spent on others, with not much spent being on yourself.

It was surprising how much energy those repetitive internal narratives turning up as emotional habits can take up.  The sessions became less about time management, and more about the principle of brahmacharya.

Brahmacharya asks us to consider the way we use our energy as similar to that of a light source, the actual creation is endless, but the globe needs to be managed.  It says make the most of who we are – become the aum-some person you know you can be.

Back to the conk on my head and brahmacharya.  After a long time in a dead bedroom marriage (as it turned out, he was more interested in sex with other people than with me, but that’s a whole other book), I left it and began to explore my sexual energy.  This yama always sat in my head in the background as I began the wandering in the dating sites, well meaning friend date set ups.  I discovered there was no endless supply of sex, you could in fact get quite addicted to that high – those naughty texts, the rush of discovery of that new body, that first kiss.  The restraining of the desire to jump someone’s bones (which after the drought I had experienced, felt my due reward), helped by the the yoga asana, viparata karini, brought me back to two essential truths around sex. One, it is the most intimate way you can connect to people, and if connection is your thing, then slow down and take the time to really feel the other person. Is it really a connection between you two, or simply a need to get your rocks off?  Two, as a woman, and the only creature on the planet to have an organ solely dedicated to pleasure (known as the clitoris), the act of orgasm truly feels like, for those few seconds, connection with a universe beyond two wet, steamy bodies. And like any good energy connection, the quality of the interaction determines the power you receive.

PRACTICING BRAHMACHARYA IN THE EVERYDAY

Here are some tips for integrating this most elemental of yamas into your everyday

Remove those daily tasks draining you of your vitality –  would changing when you do them help?  No, then consider not doing them.  Radical, I know, but who cares if the floor is not vacuumed every day you do it every 2nd day. And I used to have a saying back in the corporate world, if the person who sent that email/message isn’t on the phone or zooming me in person about the issue, it’s not that important.  If you are inherently lazy, this might mean all tasks, in which case go to the rest of my tips

Have a menu of stuff that will lift your mood state –  Do something you love every morning before you start the day.  For me, it’s meditation or morning sex.  Learn to be grateful for all that you have, those that love and care for you.  The flip side – knowing what can bring your mood state down in a nano second.  Recognising them and knowing they will pass.

Surround yourself with people who are positive – not super cheery, false positivity, but people who think life, with its ups and downs, is good. That people are generally doing their best.  Practice the yama aparigraha and remove those who are bringing you down.  You know the ones. You cannot expect to live a vital life surrounded by people who are constantly negative.

Work on something for which you have a passion – notice I am not saying here make work your passion. We still need labourers, truck drivers, and waiting staff.  No one would say these jobs are their passion, although they might give some a lot of joy.   What I am saying is find something that makes your heart truly sing, and plug away at it regularly.  Mine is playing the tank drum, and I am no genius on it, but I love it.

Learn some advanced breathwork practices – Yogis have loads of them, we don’t need to drink we can get high breathing.  We can put ourselves to sleep with breath.  We can remove ourselves from painful situations, like fanny waxing with breath.  Take 5 minutes twice a day to stop and consciously breathe. You can learn them from me or another yogi.  Please only learn the advanced ones with an experienced yogi.  Deep breathing in and out of the nose clears the pre frontal cortex, gives you the largest load of oxygen (the full 5 litres, instead of the paltry 1.5 litres you usually inhale 30,000 times or so a day).

BRAHMACHARYA AND MEDITATION

Meditation needs Brahmacharya.  ‘Brahmacharya’ literal translation is ‘behaviour which leads to Brahman’. Brahman is viewed as ‘the creator’ in Hinduism, so Brahmacharya is behaviour which leads us towards ‘the divine’ or ‘higher power’.

For many of us who meditate, strange and wonderful events happen regularly.  Some of us see lights, some hear voices.  We begin to experience a sense of peace which can only be found when we are in the mediation seat. We rush to our meditation, eagerly anticipating the next instalment.

We finish our meditation, analyse our observations, and feel a little smug we have experienced clearly significant ‘milestones’ in our meditation path.  Spiritual warrior here we come.

Is anyone in this scenario feeling peace, contentment or at one with a universal spiritual consciousness? Probably not..

In meditation, we can practice brahmacharya, by directing practice away from those internal desires – for enlightenment, peace, and the bloody lights.

A yogi once said to me, when I first experienced those lights, the sounds – don’t get distracted.  So that is my tip:  when all that stuff starts to happen, don’t get distracted.  Observe, the razzle dazzle is not the main game.  Notice the ride in and out of your meditation, understand the energy changes that occur and those that sustain.

“Practicing brahmacharya in meditation, helps us to gratefully channel the energy from our seat into deeper and more disciplined singular daily focus. ” WYogiLee